HIRING HUMOR

• SORRY :   HIRING MANAGER :   I'm sorry we cannot hire you. Your temperature is a little low to qualify as a warm BODY.

• CASHIERS:   INTERVIEWER:   You have an outstanding resume. But before we make our final decision, we want to see if you can draw a circle on a customer receipt while asking a customer to take our SURVEY!

• FLOOR MANAGERS:   APPLY TODAY:   We are looking for "self starters" who will take control of the floor. Qualifications include aggressive scrubbing abilities, vacuum cleaning experience, dry mopping experience and must have a low expectation of getting a decent wage. Don't wait, this job will wet your apatite for hard work .

• WE'RE HIRING:   PEOPLE:   Who hold their CEO in awe and work up a sweat trying to please their PSEUDO manager while they are smiling.

• JANITOR:   TAKING APPLICATIONS : For an entry level janitor. The successful applicant will have experience with computerized cleaning appliances and bathroom cleaning equipment. A PHD in Sanitary Engineering is preferred. Apply now and get a FREE tour of our restroom facilities.

• WE'RE HIRING:   Applicants: who LIVE long enough to to complete their application and all of the required interviews.

• FURNACE STOKER:   Furnace Stoker* Wanted: Don't Wait! This is a real HOT job.
  

  * A Stoker is one who puts fuel into a boiler, such as a coal fired train boiler or marine steam boat boiler.

• BURGER FLIPPER:   Manager: We have decided that you qualify for the position of Burger Flipper. We are pleased to say that you have been hired. Do you have any questions before you start working? Ryan:You bet! What is a Burger Flipper?

• JOB INTERVIEWER:   Interviewer: We have openings in the Service Sector.   Applicant: What is the Service Sector?   Interviewer: In the old days the service sector was a Butler and a chauffeur. Today it is a Burger Flipper and Putting Products on Store Shelves.

• PRODUCTION MANAGERS:The successful candidate will have impeccable JOB destroying skills.

• NOW HIRING MANAGERS:   Interviewer: "I see you have an impressive resume with lots of experience. But do you have any restroom cleaning experience?"   Applicant: "Why do you ask?"   Interviewer: "Our managers are required to clean restrooms."

• APPLY NOW:Apply now and Start your MINIMUM wage CAREER today!

• HIRING SPECIALISTS:Explosives Specialist. You will get a 💣 "BANG" 💣 out of this JOB.

• TAKING APPLICATIONS:All Positions, Applicants on Their Knees Begging a Plus.

• NOW Hiring: A Strong Back and a Weak Mind Preferred.

• APPLY NOW: Gullibility a BIG Plus.

• NOW HIRING:Kiosk Self Checkout Machines & Robots. Humans need not apply!

• WE ARE HIRING: We Offer a "Competitive" Minimum Wage?

• CHEF WANTED: Do you have an advanced college degree in Culinary Arts.   Job Applicant: I took a two week course in Dispensing Sodas and Burger Preparation.

• APPLICANT"   Applicant: Did I get Hired?   Interviewer: I'm sorry, You tested positive for antacids. We cannot hire anyone that unstable.

• NOW HIRING: Garbage Collection Specialist. Must Know Garbage and have Experience Working with TRASH.